cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if only i could text you this smell
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
