he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
