Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
