I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
