dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
