A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
