so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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