My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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