Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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