thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
