I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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