Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
