im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Randomize
