I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
