those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
