I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize