ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
