I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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