Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
