I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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