we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
