its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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