my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
