Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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