He is such a slut. More and more my type.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
