apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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