My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
