Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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