dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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