My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
