And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
