i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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