just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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