ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
