I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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