I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
