Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
