I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
