I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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