Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
