If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
