There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
