Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
