The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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