I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
