Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so explain again why im purple
no
You work out of a Hotel?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Randomize
