i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Boobs speak an international language.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
