I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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