he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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