Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
