his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
