If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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