Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
