How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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